Sometimes I feel like everybody’s got a problem.
Sometimes I feel like nobody wants to solve them.
I know that people say we’re never gonna make it.
But I know we’re gonna get though this










<3

cc prelims postponed!! im like WTF!!! Im so sad, im suppose to like go genting on sat morning and come back on mon, but cos of cc, my whole fam is going exp me. leaving me in spore T.T im just a reserved. anw, im really proud of team A, the timing and quality was like :) now. :) so im happy and tired :(

mass uploading pics :)

But I know they just don’t understand

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you

I feel stupid not sleeping but here blogging cause im feeling so upset all bcos of you. I told myself its not worth my tears but i couldnt get a hold on myself. Do yall know i really hated ya'll? Everything that I do reminds me of you All the common tests, lucky stars that we use to give each other. the songs we sang while we walked 1km/h down street 13, the silly things we do, the times we spent having fun at the playground, the time we went to cityhall just to queue for donuts, the many times we went to northpoint to take neoprints, the pink rose which nvr appear, our long bus journey home, eating yiyang tgt, bitching tgt, sucking lollipops. we even talked about the bbq which nvr happened. getting high so results will be high, running on the track tgt during recess, and macbeth, and so many other things, do you even remember? and games day, when we had so much fun playing soccer? why? after the tough run round the track, after the many ups and downs we went through tgt, we end up back at the starting line. and now, we drifting away, from 5 to 4, and now? 3? and you? who used me like so many times, thinking that im so stupid. look for me only when you needed help? but i still helped anw, how stupid?

and there's you all too. from 5 to 3 and eventually 0? what happened? we're frens forever? cushion gang? coaching in reading lessons in the morning, helping out great events in sch everytime, prize giving, sports day? going for recess tgt everyday and playing the childish scissors-paper-stone? doing projects on pink and striking boards? always right beside one another? breaking records tgt? snow city? parties? when happened to those days?and you said you'll leave a comment, but you didnt. and i know we'll drift away like pretty soon. and i dont know what to do. 

i'ved missed you quite terribly. but we dont have time for each other anymore though we all know its just a stupid excuse.

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Did you see how much I need you right now?

i want to be rich, like really really rich...

so i can buy myself a big big house, like really big. and so i could ran away and disappear like forever. i'll take boiboi with me, and i'll protect him forever. 

in this house there'll be many many rooms for different purpose just to cater to my needs. there will be one 'emo' room where you can find penknifes all over the room. it'll be painted black and i'll have a bar inside with many differnet liquors and wine for me to drown myself in my sorrows. there will be a coffin in the room so that i would sleep in there just in case i kill myself one day. there will be many windows unlocked with no grills or anything cos i needed space. im not crazy. and there;ll be this room called hell. it'll be painted red and i'll have balloons all over the rooms and darts and paint for me to vent my anger whenever im angry. there'll be voodoo dolls and needles for me to deal with irritating ppl that makes my life miserable too. there will be another room called heaven, for me to go in when im happy. it'll be filled with pink stuffs, and pink walls. i'll have all my beloved soft toys there, karoake sets, a big cosy sofa. and i'll build this machine that produces soap bubbles in the room. there'll will be wind charms hang in the room and roses petals sprinkled all over the floor.
and i want a room specially for boiboi. he and his wifey and his kids will live in the room, i'll buy him all sorts of toys all kinds of food and many clothes for them to wear. i'll buy shades, shoes and bring them for pedicure. i'll treat boiboi to ice-cream, cookies, meatballs, prawn rolls and love letters everyday. he shall not be scared anymore. he'll be happy, like me. and there'll be another room for all my books. forever love will be produced there and bffs will be produced there too.

and there'll be another room for my tortise, five hamster, two rabbits and two birdies. 

there'll also be another room called the graffiti room for me to go when and depressed.

ther'll be one more room which will be totally empty. thats where i can cry and sort my thoughts out.

and there'll be the entertainment room with my xbox, psp, ps2, comps, plasma tvs all in there.

and of cos, there'll be my room too. me and my darling will sleep in the room and lead a happy life where no one would disturbs us.

im not crazy. im normal. this is me.  

//edit
and out behind my big big house, there'll be a beautiful garden with pink roses and green grasses all over. and just at one corner, there'll be a swing there calling me. and i wont change my number. i will have many maids from all over the world, my personal image consultant, three chauffeurs waiting to serve me in my Audi R8, BMW Z4 Roadster and Ferrari F430 Spider. I'll have a personal pilot and airplane so that i can fly all over the world whenever i want:)

and i'll adopt many many kids so i can play with them :) 

there'll be no annoying , arrogant, irritating ppl around to piss me off, make me feel inferior or make me depressed. and my life wouldnt be as screwed up as now.

wouldnt it be nice:)

I need your help, I need protection
Safe from things I cannot see
My love is anything that's possible
And what you mean to me
 

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind


Day 1


much loves

newyear has been quite boring. went over grandmama house during the first day, ate steamboat, played with 'annoying' kids, played blackjack, i prefer the name jackass more though, and stuff to keep ourselves awake. received and paos :) but its not much, and im sad :( haha! and then there was this person taht msg me happy new year after i left grandmama house and its like ?! i was like right in front of you like 1 min ago.. and you said happy cny after like how many bloody hours. like really LOL! then went to mummy's mom, grandmama no 2 and ate steamboat and den slept there...i rock man!

2nd day went shopping!! wahaha and watched movie. i love jay more now! wo yong yuan ai zhe ni!! muackks! :D den went grandmama house again to eat steamboat again and sleep :)

3rd day went mommy's teacher and friend's house...surprise surprise, my mommy chinese teacher was a ex st nicks girl..like WOW! and she was like so surprise and happy and hugged me went she heard stnicks. she must have miss stnicks like a hell lot :(

today, i cant rmb what i do. oh ya, i went my aunt house in the morning to rot and eat STEAMBOAT AGAIN and den came home finished prison break and uh what, bratz. its nice and i cried. ahaha..

im gonna grow fatter cos of CNY :( ughhh!! I feel like a pig, just eat and sleep and repeat :(

v day comin :) hint hint :D


hey there. i miss you

They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...

its doesnt feels like new year eve at all...there's no new year mood this year.

maybe someday i'll just screamed at you and tell you how much i hated you.  hated arrogant, narcissistic people like you. i hope you start behaving like that.

met up with rj and toh, went mrs hui house which was so boring. I miss pri sch lives, really.

saw the dance performance and wonder why did i miss the second audition that time. i miss dance, really.

i hate people who copy me and follow whatever i do. such assholes! dont be so irritating man! i bet youdont even know.

i hate CNY.

i feel like crying.

michelle, if you ever read this, HAPPY NEW YEAR! im being sincere k :) i miss having you in the class :( i hate 3u, its so bloody hell quiet and dead.

I MISS PURITY.
WHY WERENT PEOPLE NICER?

Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home

I'm hanging on the best I can 

im not sure if i really changed. The whole world is insisting that i've changed. im becoming so scary and wild.
so, what if i had really changed? How do you expect me to remained the same after so much things had happen? Everything happen one after another. Its true that time will heal all the pain, but for me, its just keep coming one after another and you people are expecting me to remain cool. I have to go through everything alone. & no one knows about it. IM not a robot, i have feelings too. I put my blood into it, but i didnt get what i wanted. everytime. and you dont understand.

im not gonna make any changes or try to make any changes cause i dont want to. its pretty obvious. im not who you used to know. I take a days to tell myself I'm gonna end up fine to tell myself im ok. im trying so hard to make myself stronger.

everyday i wake up feeling so restless and down. Life just seems so meaningles now. everyday is just so routine. doing everything over and over again. everyday is just study and study, but the grades doesnt go up, and i had to keep my cool.

I get by making the best of what was mine. If you think this could be what you want, then you just gotta try . I dont even know what im doing now. Im not in the right state of my mind.

somethings i just cant change.

So much stress keeps running through my mind now.

Fell into a mess that I that wish that I could climb out.
I guess I hide it so nobody’ll find out..

The way everyone thinks that everything is fine now.

It was right then, when everything began to change. I started looking at these things in a different way. I saw life through God’s eyes and it wasn’t the same, then I saw all these lies that was thrown away.

Make a wish tonight
Take me back to the nights of last summer
I come by 'round 9
I couldn't help but wonder
What's wrong, what's right?

This love sick thing
I like serious relationships and a
A girl like me dont stay single for long
Cuz everytime my boyfriend and I break up
My world is crushed and I'm all alone
The love bug crawls right back up and bites me and I'm back 

when shopping yesterday and this afternoon, but cant fund anything interesting or rather nice. singapore's such a loser place. Even town was =/

just found out that there are aeroplane and car car gummies :) so cute and nice :)

CY bought a ring for me as a bdae present and it's really nice! lucky star :)

Long time since i last posted =(

I think im gonna get dengue fever or sth like real soon, im like having a temp since yest but =/ i got like 13 and still countng mosquitos bites on my arms and its like so freaking ugly. there's gonna be like scars like wth? im scared. CC trainings are so annoying. 

people are annoying me more and more, Person A complains that we ___, person B was pissed too and bitch about. But the things is, from my point of view, Person B is just another Person A. like wth?! Both arrogant, spoilt and bleh..anw...shudnt care much, its them, not me.

Im so amused by the way life is and how fast people changes...bestfriends turning out to be backstabbers, hypocrites...how sad can this world be?!

Found out things i shouldnt know.

Person A and Person B fall out recently over small matters which i dont know cos both refuses to tell. Person A and B used to be such good friends but Person A did something mean without her knowing. and Person B was still protective of Person A. Person B really dont deserve this kind of treatment from A.

What kind of friend are you? What kind of squadmates are you all? stop following the crowd. How unfaithful can you all get? You just gonna make us want to help her more. Im gonna declare war man, and its clear you all will die a terrible death.  

I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
And someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep

To look at you in the eye and tell you I don't love you, it's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie. To show no emotion when you start to cry. I can't let you see what you mean to me cos my hands are tied and my heart's not free . We're not meant to be. It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do,
turning around and walking away pretending I don't love you.I know that we'll meet again. Fate has a place and time so you can get on with your life. I've got to be cruel to be kind like Dr. Zhivago. All my love I'll be sending and you will never know cos there cant be a happy ending.
How unfair can god be to us?

I cant sleep without blogging tonight. My life's pretty screwed up. God, i thought you love all your kids? I really dont know what love is if you call that love. I know somehow i rather, we drifted again. its just damn fucing routine that it doesnt matters anymore. but i believe ___, though all good things comes to an end. life's just that depressing.

If im really skipping 2 grades after picking up piano for only 3 months, that means i rock! woohoo!! but sad things is, my guitar suck

Went tuition with linn. love teacher joyce :)

i;v goy plan to change my frame during march. i shall start saving money.
It cost 380 bucks. . need to suffer 10 weeks, and after that i will get my specs frame changed to BLACK AND PINK. March, pretty far away...

Purple is COOLIO!

As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back

Now that I'm losing hope
And there's nothing else to show
For all the days that we spent
Carry away from home

cc today was hell but kinda fun...souvenir ystd was fun cos cm finally came.
nothing interesting to blog about. my life is so screwed.

yhw ptu ni os hcmu etoffr ot od gostehmni wnhe uyo aer tujs a evrerse.   

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

countdown, and HAPPY NEW YEAR msgs came running in. I think im not prepared for 2008 yet, not ready to let 07 go. I'll really miss 07 and many other stuffs. Time flies real fast and i got to really sort out my feelings. so much happen in 07, but its not the end, there's more to 08. Maybe when i reach the age 20 or 30, i wont be feeling this way towards the new year. Im just really sad to be who i am. I really refuse to let 07 go. I cant blog properly.

Things that make me excited abt 08
~ pratically none
~ tuition wif ___ n maybe ___
~ Hectic life ( keep me occupied with things)

Things that make me dont look forward to 08
~ Chines Os
~ Hectic life
~ Wati leaving soon
~ Having to see my parents and sis everday
~ New class
~ No more carmen, wj, janet...
~ FT
~ School
~ Tests

seeing you happy makes me happy. I still cant do that.

Jesslyn Poh u suck! WASB, yes, my vocab is limited. but you're such an ass i hate you!
 its ok, its ok, its ok.

Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in
Because it's cold outside cold outside it's cold out side
Share with me the secrets that you kept in
Because it's cold inside cold inside it's cold inside 

i want to wear specs when sch reopen but haven bought one...i want the purple one...hahaa...but its cost 560plus bucks...like wth?! When shopping with my mum at hub cos she wanted to get her dress and realised hub isnt that loser.. bought clothes and more pumps :) havent get my vip tapz card :( tot pepper plus was for older people but i was wrong.
 
oh and i think i forgot to mention about thursday =/ went shopping with rj, toh, toh's bf, and toh's fren(app, i forgot the name, not that im racist k, but u just cant get the name) I think that jinwai, bf of toh is so @!@ eat so slow =/ lol, but anw, it was really boring didnt shop much. went bugis, den ps, watched im legend and home =/ so no life. every1 so sian diao that day =( oh and i cant tahan that two idiots! hug and kiss infront of us like wth?! boo! know you 2 very deeply in love la, still got rings, marry that day dont forget to invite me hor. we bought this necklace that says fren 4ever for rj as xmas pressie, but rj just rufuse to take it. make me and toh so sad ;( she dont like us, we feel so rejected. heartbroken :(

there's lessons on 1st day !?!

I was born to tell you I love you 

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change
Once a whore, you're nothing more, I'm sorry that'll never change
And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged
I'm sorry honey, but I passed up, now look this way!

class allocation was really =/ 3u...i'll miss certain people..really.

came back from chalet. www was really a total boredom. tired.

tuition starts tmr :)
new bag :)
swing swing on first day :)
www on 2nd week :)
yi yang on wed :)

school reopening soon:(
sec 3 :(
cc training 3 times/wk :( 
3w behind 3u :(
take bus to sch in the mornin :(
sis my roomie startin wed ;(

You were everything I wanted.
You were everything a girl could be.
Then you left me brokenhearted
Now you don't mean a thing to me
All I wanted was your
Love love love love love love

BBQ ystd was =/ i was totally anti-social at night. is it my dad's genes or its just me? we were being 2 anti social freaks...so damn boring and all the food was burnt which was rather cute... BURNT chicken. after ystd, i really hate my sister so much more. she's such a bitch. not gonna bitch abt you much but there's one thing i must say cos i really came put up with your irritating character. you're a total asshole that goes around bitching abt ur PARENTS.how can you do that man? BITCH! I cant believe you man. what did i do to deserve serve sister and treatment from you? if you really hate your parents, just leave, disappear and nvr come back. end my misery please, and they love you so much.

swim from 10am to arnd 5pm. we're crazy. went to gym, went to steam room, but didnt lose any weight =/ get tanner and spoil my whole mood....but anw, happy bdae my twin sister!  oh, and i the whole world insist that i got a bf. how wonderful. magaret say she spotted me wif my bf at hub 0.o wow...

o prep today from 8 to 12. so annoying and boring..am so pissed with ppl. CC from 1 to 4 and it was really tiring but interesting. connecting basha with shao was really so contenting. NO HOLES! woohoo~ im reserve.

And you just brought me down.

Hate is a strong word.
But I really really really don't like you.

 

ok sadly, im not lookin forward to tmr's bbq at all...i shouldnt be feeling this way. its my twin sister's bdae, and its so not okay if i dont go. but to tell the truth, i really dont like them. as in not don like ba, more like I cant communicate with them, so why should i go?

It's christmas. love the logcake. im getting fatter

The wonder of the world is gone and all for sure
All the wonder that I want I found in her him
As the whole becomes the part I tried to burn
And the flame returns 

Now that I've lost you it kills me to say
(Hurts to say)
I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away.
I'm losing the fight.
I've treated you so wrong, now let me make it right.
(Make it all right)

Dear brother, I've missed you quite terribly. Certain things reminds me of you today. Christmas's coming. Life hasnt been fair these recent days. Do you know how ordinary life is without you. but wherever you are, you'll always be kept close to my heart. How i wish you were by my side now. i've been dreaming of days where i woke up with you right beside me. but they were just dreams. Every day just passes aimlessly. Where are you? Im dying. Im so envious of people who had a brother. But know that no one can ever replace you. I just want you to know, you're a really great brother, and a really great friend. I've been missing you. Im going insane. Come back to me, again. I wanna tell you things that no one know. I need you back. It's hard to face, but the fact remains, that this is nothing new

I'll make my own world somehow
where I control who stays
you won't leave because you
won't know how to run away
I'll make you care that I am
running here without you
I'll make you care

Campcraft today was really tiring! wake up so early feeling so dead and restless. Im guilty. i know i slacked, ya...and didnt really think of much ideas...but i was really too tired to brainstorm anything today :( next time must sleep earlier so wont be tired...hahaa!

I got a group of INTERESTING JUNIORS XD
I got a bunch of CHILDISH cum MEAN squadmates :D